New Year’s Resolutions

So, today is the day after Christmas, and for those of us who celebrate it, we probably over ate, and are stuffed to the nines with sweets, turkey, and all of the amazing fixings.  Now, the day after, we feel bloated, and gross, and are bombarded with before and after pictures and overkill from the diet industry leading into the new year.  This may have some people wavering about their commitment to jump off of the diet train and stick with Health at Every Size. So here is my list of 10 better New Year’s Resolutions, than losing weight.

  

   1.Commit to doing activities that make you feel good 5 days a week.

Go ride a bike, play tennis, go for a walk, or just have a fucking living room dance party! Do these things because they feel good in your body and they are good for your body, not because you are trying to make your body something that it isn’t.

     2. Start living your life the way you planned to when you got thin! 

Instead of hiding in a shell and waiting for some arbitrary number to pop up on a scale to live your life the way that you want to, do it now! Always wanted to wear a bikini to the beach? Strap one on! Want to go to a bar and flirt your ass off? DO IT! Want to by that new outfit? Buy it now and  IN YOUR SIZE!

     3.Stop! Body shaming yourself. 

We’ve all been there, and I’m not going to lie to you, after all of these years, I still struggle with this sometimes. You get up in the morning, and your just not feeling it. You walk to the mirror and you start picking, you pick apart your body, your face, and your life. This year commit to stop! It’s like smoking, you just gotta quit cold turkey. Try that rubber band on this wrist thing that people are so fond of!

4. Be more spontaneous.

Sometimes, being a grown up, seems a lot like committing to be in a rut for your entire life. Break the cycle, and in 2013 try to be more spontaneous! Get in the car and just drive, let the GPS guide you back! Ask someone on a date. Go up and talk to a new person. Try a new restaurant. Doing new and spontaneous things can be exhilarating and boost your confidence!

5. Overcome something challenging.

My big challenge? Completing a Master’s degree. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. I wanted to give up many times along the way, but by god I finished it! What’s your challenge? What do you want to complete before the end of 2013? Make it happen!

6. Educate yourself.

2013 can be a year of learning for you. Despite what we may like to pretend, none of us knows everything. So this year, you can commit to learning about X# of new topics!

     7. Spend more time with the people you care about.

When people say life is short, they aren’t just kidding you. The older you get, the faster time seems to travel. When we get older, I assure we aren’t going to regret not accomplishing a purchasing order. We won’t be wishing we had just spend 5 more hours a week at work. And we sure as hell won’t be wishing we had spent a few more hours obsessing over our weight and body. We will wish we had more time with the people we loved. So, this year, don’t wait until it’s too late, do it now.

    8. Commit to a cause.

There is a lot of messed up stuff going on this world. There are people starving, children who can’t afford to go to school, LGBT people still can’t get equal rights, racism is rampant, everywhere you turn there is something going wrong! So, this year, commit all of the time that you used to spend obsessing over your body, dedicated to making the world a better place! Maybe  you don’t have the time to volunteer, whip out that wallet! Maybe you don’t have the cash, write your legislator. This year, do something to change the things you don’t like in our society, instead of on your body.

9. Reduce!

Forgive me, but I am going to get  preachy for just a second. We live in a consumer/throw away society. We do it with people and we do it with things. This year, make a commitment to stop doing it. Reduce the amount of things you have to throw away, instead choose recyclable materials when possible. Reduce the amount of animal products that you consume which are bad for your body (in excess), bad for the environment, and in the farm factory industry, bad for the animals. Reduce your buy in into mass consumerism, do you really need another Apple product? Finally, reduce the number of times that you throw people away because they don’t match up to your expectations. We are all just trying to get through this crazy messed up life and sometimes people need a little extra love and support.

Interested in reducing? Check out my friends blog about her minimalist journey (www.bornagainminimalist.com)

10. Be honest, be yourself. 

I saved this one for last, because it is also my New Year’s resolution. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness of life. In a digital age, we are constantly aware of what we post on the web and how quickly information can be passed along. We have to be aware of not only what our friends and family may think, but what future employers may think of who we are and how we behave. It’s no surprise to me that we may all be a little guarded. My commitment this year, is a commitment to myself. I will be open and honest with myself, and the people around me.  I will let people in, and let them see who I really am and what I want out of my life. This year, I commit to tearing down the walls, that I have built to protect myself, and just live honestly, and happily. Maybe you’ll give it a try with me!

Now, these are just a few suggestions for resolutions that would be a better commitment than wasting time worrying about your weight. I’m sure you have got millions, and I would love to hear them. Leave your suggestions or personal resolutions in the comment section!

Self-Care

I’m sure we have all been paying fervent attention to the rise of self-care terminology. While you may be thinking it’s all mumbo jumbo, I have got to say. I’m a believer. Self-care makes you do good work and feel great doing it. So, this week, I wanted to share my top 5 self-care tips.

1. Take an hour for yourself each and every day. This may seem kind of obvious, but it’s really important to take that time for yourself to clear your head and pamper yourself each and everyday. I know it can be hard to get away, especially if you have little ones running around or are working multiple jobs, but you are worth it. So, make the time! I use my lunch hour each day to escape and do whatever I want. Sometimes I knit, sometimes I read, sometimes I veg out in front of the tv, and sometimes I just like to sit quietly and think. No matter how you choose to spend your one hour, an hour spent just for you will help you to feel relaxed and re-energized!

2. Write, write, and write some more! Now as a blogger, I obviously enjoy writing, but beyond that, writing can be very therapeutic. Writing can often help us get out thoughts and feelings that we dare not say out loud, or just don’t want to. In this life, we can deal with a lot of frustrating people and situations and we can’t always say the things that we feel. For this, I strongly recommend journaling or just writing when you feel overwhelmed. Some examples of writing projects that have helped me deal with frustrating situations:

  • A letter to my father who passed away.
  • A letter to my ex who infuriated me and broke my heart
  • A letter to a friend who moved away
  • Journaling my thoughts through the grieving process
  • Telling off a co-worker
  • Writing all the things that make me happy throughout the day
  • Writing down the reasons I love my job

Maybe, you have encountered one of the situations above, maybe you have something entirely different and frustrating to deal with. Beyond the topic, writing out your thoughts and feelings helps you connect with yourself and connect with who you want to be, so write, write, and write some more.

3.   Pamper yourself once a week. Pampering and treating yourself does not make you selfish, it makes you healthy. So treat yourself to pampering once a week. This pampering session can be whatever you need it to be. I know personally, I like a nice hot lavender bubble bath and a Johnny Depp movie. I’m a sucker for a good J.D. movie. I have a friend who get’s a manicure like clock work each week. Maybe pampering for you looks different. Maybe your treat is a road trip, a movie, a nice dinner out, or something nice and cheap like a game night with your family. Take the time to treat yourself to what makes you feel happy and beautiful!

4. Affirm your beauty and have faith in your confidence. It can be hard sometimes to live in a world that constantly reminds us that we fail its expectations. With each of us viewing 600 advertisements a day telling us we are not good enough, it can be easy to forget the amazing and beautiful creatures that we are. So, cheesy as it sounds, take the time every day to remind yourself how amazing you are. Here are some helpful ways that you can tackle this 365 task:

  • Pick a new body part or character trait each day to compliment.
  • Write a list of positive affirmations (or yoink one from the internet)

Use your affirmation list to do the following:

  • Write yourself post it notes and leave them on your mirror each day.
  • Write your affirmations on tiny sheets of paper, put them in a jar, and pull one out to read each day
  • If you use a calendar for work, write your affirmations in as a task each day so that they pop up and remind you.

5. Get Fancy. Take the time to do you every now and again. Get dressed up and fabulous and go out or just take gratuitous pictures of yourself. You deserve to feel smoking! You like make up? Put it on! High heels? Strap on those stilettos? You feel bad ass in a pair of converse high tops? Lace um up and strut like the magnificent person you are. Take the time to get dressed to the nines and check yourself out!

Give these tips a shot and if they don’t work for you, make up your own top 5! Above all, as we move into the Holidays take the time to Laugh, Love, and DO YOU!!!!

 

Got more ideas for blog topics or great self-care tips? Leave them in comment section!

Fat Sex

First let me start off with an update of where I am. I accepted a position with a college in ohio and so I just recently got settled and moved in and should have regular internet access sometime next week. Thank you all for comments and support even though I have not been able to regularly update the way that I would like and I would really like all of that to change soon. I am hoping to have more time for updating when I hold my regular office hours. Now to todays article

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/723783

First let me point out how inaccurate self reporting experiments are. Many people, especially when it comes to sex, do not feel comfortable being one hundred percent accurate. On to the issues at hand.

I am not surprised that many fat people are engaging in unprotected sex, particularly fat women.  I think that this all relates back to the social stigma associated with weight in modern culture. I have actually seen a lot of this activity with young women that I know personally. When you are constantly told that you are undesirable you are more likely act impulsively when someone does desire you. The heartbreaking statistic  beyond unwanted pregnancy and std’s is the staggering number of women who do not see their own value and worth.

Another critical item noted in this study is that many fat women less likely to report sexual activity to their doctors and to get the proper exams.  I have never denied that there is a  medical bias towards fat peoples, but this particular prejudice has been well documented. Due to constant comments from doctors regarding weight, many people feel very uncomfortable undressing in front of their physician for fear of unwanted weight related comments. It has been speculated by many leading researchers that THIS is the reason that their is a higher rate of many female only cancers in obese women, not that the fat actually causes the cancer. This is why I urge every woman reading this, please get your regular pap tests and breast cancer screenings! We have lost too many wonderful mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and friends to this horrible disease because of shame inflicted on women of size. Don’t become another number, be bold and school your doctor on bedside manner.

DEEPLY SORRY

I just want to apologize to my readers and to anyone who has been trying to contact me. I moved and also went through a sort of very personal crisis that I don’t feel at liberty to discuss, but I am back now after a very long time and I hope to resume writing my blog on a regular basis and discussing all that is fat in the media ASAP!

So here is an update on me really quick! I was recently accepted into graduate school which I am very very very excited about! I am working on getting a graduate assistantship to pay for my tuition. I have also just recently started seeing someone and he is probably reading this right now so I should only say flattering things =) . I am also thinking of adding a page just for personal pictures and things so that you guys can keep up with my life just because I seem to be getting a lot of requests for that. So hopefully that will be up soon!

NOW fat in the media!

I wanted to address this article because I LOVE Gabourney Sidibe. I thought that she did a fantastic job in the film “Precious” and I have noticed that a lot of people in Hollywood have felt very comfortable discussing her weight from Jaime (sp?) Foxx to Howard Stern. The whole article can be found at the link below, but as always I am just going to hit on the key points.

http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/news/gabourey-sidibes-mom-slams-howard-stern-for-fat-jab-get-a-life-2010163

Let me start with my instantaneous childish reaction

Howard Stern “called the Oscar nominee, 26, the “most enormous fat black chick I’ve ever seen… She should have gotten the Best Actress award because she’s never going to have another shot. What movie is she gonna be in?””

First of all, if someone could give Howard Stern, with from what I can tell not one redeeming quality a job, then I am pretty sure that Gabourney will be okay out there. Secondly, why does Howard Stern always feel like he has the right to degrade women and talk about their bodies. UGH the man drives me insane!

But HERE is the kicker to add insult to injury

“weight loss company AcaiSupply.com publicly offered her a one-year supply of their product to “reach your goal of someday winning an Oscar… by being active, fit, and most of all, healthy!”

When I read this I was so appalled I could hardly even think straight! Can you imagine. As if being thin would make her a better actress! This is just as insulting as if a plastic surgeon publicly offered Pelelope Cruz a nose job to improve her chances of winning an Oscar. It is an insult not just to Gabourney but to women in general. As if their worth and skill lies souly in the width of their thighs.

This all brings me to my final point. Amidst all of this garbage Gabourney still carries herself with poise and grace! She says:

“It’s something I’ve had to work at. My first diet started when I was six years old,” she said. “I’ve never been a small girl. One day I had to sit down with myself and decide that I loved myself no matter what my body looked like and what other people thought about my body.”

I say bravo to loving yourself in the face of an industry that openly mocks you and treats you as less than! SHE ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!

An Introduction

I felt it only fair that if I expect you all to read and trust what I say, that I should probably tell you a little bit about myself.

I was a happy and healthy young girl. I loved playing baseball, dancing, twirling baton, karate,  and playing soccer,  but I was all just a wee bit fat. About the age of ten my family (whom are all also fat) decided that I should go on a diet. Then around 11 a very concerned relative thought I should go on diet pills. That year I dropped from a size 20 to a size 4. I ate only a cup of vegetables and half a slice of no fat cheese. It was then that I was diagnosed with anorexia.  During my recovery my weight jumped up and down and there were minor setbacks and relapses, but  I came out on the other side healthy, happy, and still just a wee bit fat.

Coming to terms with my fat body was a daunting task. In fact all through high school I though there was no such thing as loving a FAT body. It wasn’t until I was in college that I stumbled across a book titled “Fat! SO?” by Marilyn Wann. That book changed my life. I began looking at the world around me a different way. More importantly, I began looking at myself a different way. Each morning when I woke up, I would pick one new thing I liked about myself, until suddenly I realized that I liked all of myself. This realization was only the beginning for me. I knew that it was my duty to help other women around the country to look at themselves differently.

My campaign started with a big sister program to help young women with eating disorders. After that program was up and running, I knew I wanted a local group that I could bounce ideas around with and mobilize so that we could really get some attention focused on this issue. This program became known as a the Body Beautiful Project. I woefully agreed to film the process with MTV, which in many ways was a disaster, but Hey at least it got people talking about these issues. The Body Beautiful Project is now a fully functioning, university funded club, with over 25 regular members! Which trust me, for Wittenberg is a lot of students lol.

Now, as I am leaving Wittenberg and persuing real life, I intend to keep pushing this issue to the forefront and open peoples minds to the idea that you  can be fat, healthy , and beautiful.